CAPTAIN FLYNN Maintenance Manual
by daniandan-TehWolfyBlake
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a CAPTAIN FLYNN unit! Follow the guidelines in this manual and your CAPTAIN FLYNN will give you decades of quality performance.


_**Captain Mike Flynn: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**_

_**CONGRATULATIONS! **_

You are now the proud owner of a CAPTAIN MIKE FLYNN unit!

Follow the guidelines in this manual and your FLYNN will give you decades of quality performance.

**INSTALLATION**

Your FLYNN should arrive fully assembled and charged. Please check that you have all his accessories (see below) and that you have been issued with the correct edition of the FLYNN unit.

FLYNN (copyright McElroy/Stenlake, 2006)

**TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: _Michael Flynn_

Rank_: Captain_

Warship:_ HMAS Hammersley_

Country: Australia

Parents: Mr and Mrs Flynn

Site of Manufacture: Deep Space

Height: _6 ft ½ in_

Weight: _insufficient data_

Hair Color: Dirty Blond

Eyes: Blue

**OPERATING PROCEDURE**

Your FLYNN unit has been designed to be user-friendly and proficient. His controls are voice activated. Please state your commands clearly in English

Remember that your FLYNN is not just eye-candy; he has multiple functions.

Information Gathering: 

For the most effective information gathering (i.e. getting a RO unit to find the information for him), set to 'Friendly' mode.

Combat:

Your FLYNN unit is programmed with a vast knowledge of how to defend himself, and will be able to protect you if you are ambushed. However, his mathematical skills seem to be lacking. He frequently picks fights with several others at a time even though the odds are against him. If this is the case, you cannot rely on him to save you so learn to do some butt-kicking of your own!

BSing: 

Your FLYNN has had plenty of experience with the art of BSing. He will gladly BS your homework for you or come up with an excuse to explain to your parents why you were out until 3 in the morning.

**COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS**

You will find that your FLYNN is compatible with most other humans.

The maintenance of a XO unit as an attachment to a FLYNN unit is generally not problematic after the first few hours. The FLYNN and XO models have three modes of interaction:

(a) Hostile

(b) Friendly

(c) Romantic

**ACCESSORIES**

The items with which your FLYNN comes equipped, depend on which edition of the captain you have purchased.

FLYNN: Wears standard Navy DPNU's. Coffee not included.

**CLEANING**

Depending on the uses to which you put your FLYNN, you may have to clean him on a regular basis. Use a water shower.

**LUBRICATION**

To ensure that your FLYNN remains in good working order, moving parts should be lubricated regularly.

**RECHARGING**

After long periods of use, your FLYNN's energy levels may become depleted. Use the following procedures to recharge your human:

Food:

Your FLYNN does not need as much food as the CHARGE model, but he benefits from regular refueling with steak dinners and assorted junk food. This may prompt any nearby SWAIN unit to yell at him for his unhealthy eating habits. Be sure to ask your FLYNN for a list of specific food allergies before feeding him something exotic.

Note: Don't waste food in front of him unless you are prepared for him to go into full angst mode.

Drink:

If your FLYNN's energy is almost spent, give him plenty of water to drink. Water is safe because you can be certain he is not allergic to it. It is also essential for the proper function of humans. Your FLYNN may try to convince you that he needs Beer to maintain the perfect balance of electrolytes. This is not true and the SWAIN unit will put him on a medically ordered diet of bland foods.

Sleep:

You may be surprised by the small amount of sleep that your FLYNN needs in order to maintain optimum performance. He will be ordered to sleep by a SWAIN unit, if the FLYNN unit isn't going to sleep.

**REPROGRAMMING**

The FLYNN unit can be issued with a revised Warship Captain program from NAVCOM.

**SECURITY**

Thanks to the popularity of the FLYNN unit it essential that you observe the following security procedures for the safekeeping of your captain.

* Have your FLYNN micro-chipped. Choose a doctor who is experienced in the handling of whiny captains to carry out this procedure. (Any nearby SWAIN unit would gladly volunteer.)

* Do not leave your FLYNN unattended in public.

* Do not lend your FLYNN to anyone (e.g. Ursula Morrell)

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS **

**Q:** _Can I take my FLYNN on vacation with me?_

**A:** Yes! He especially enjoys camping trips and may insist on singing cheesy songs around the campfire. Be aware that if there is a mountain in the vicinity, he will most likely attempt to climb its rocky face to the top. If you want your FLYNN unit to stay in one piece, have the SWAIN unit standing by with a medi-kit

**TROUBLE SHOOTING**

**Problem:** Your FLYNN keeps putting himself in danger to save the lives of others, often resulting in injury.

**Solution:** Remind him how much he hates trips to the Wardroom

**Problem:** Your FLYNN is becoming difficult to understand when he speaks. He is slurring his words and having difficulty with articulation, pronouncing 'r's as 'w's.

**Solution:** Give him a breathalyzer test. If he's not drunk, assume he has numb-tongue. WTF have you been feeding him? Consult the SWAIN unit right away for the cure.

**ADDITIONAL INFO**

For questions or concerns not addressed in this guide, please feel free to contact us at mailing address:

NAVCOM

PO BOX 1701

CAIRNS, QLD

THE END


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